Loneliness. It’s not a topic most people talk about.
Whether you’ve just ended a relationship and friends are scarce, or you’re so busy at work that you don’t have time for new friendships—there are many reasons we feel isolated or alone.
In fact, we can be lonely because we are physically alone, or we can feel left out or alienated even when we are surrounded by people.
No matter what the reason, it hurts to feel isolated, disconnected or unnoticed.
Loneliness vs. Solitude
But there’s a difference between loneliness and solitude. Sometimes we need the peace and quiet time alone brings; other times we need connection with others.
Solitude can be replenishing after a hard week at work or in our prayer time with God. With the One who loves us most we can pour out our problems to God, ask for help, and thank Him for all He has done for us.
Hosea 2:14 reads, “I will lead you into solitude and there I shall speak to your heart.” In the stillness, in the quiet, we can hear what God is trying to communicate to us. Away from noise and distractions we can absorb truth in new ways.
Loneliness is different.
One definition says that “Loneliness is a painful awareness that we lack close and meaningful contact with others. It involves a feeling of inner emptiness, isolation and intense longing.”
In addition, you may feel feel sad, anxious or inferior because you are unable to connect with people—or connect with a certain person.
The importance of connection
We live in society that exalts self-reliance, and a time when we are more disconnected than ever.
From my living room in Colorado, I can email my family in Minnesota or Facebook with readers in Brazil. Other the other hand, technology may limit a person’s face-to-face-interactions and in-person friendships.
Online, for instance, we may go wide (have a lot of ‘friends’) but not go deep (as in having meaningful relationships with good friends).
We all need to connect with other people.
We can do so by building bridges to other people, and connecting in person, and not living solely a virtual life. Bridges provide a link from one place to another. Friendships connect one isolated person to another, and soon community is built.
Getting connected
We were created to need each other and to serve each other’s needs. Indeed, our longing for love, friendship and heart friends (close friends) is real. It’s vital to our emotional wellbeing.
The truth is, you can build connections in all different areas of life. Consider these areas of community to connect with others:
• Spiritual community with people at church, or in a small group, prayer group, missions team or one-on-one with someone like-minded.
• Social community through a bowling league, mom’s group, singles group, coffee with friends.
• Intellectual community with people from work, joining a book group or other group with shared interests.
• Physical community in joining a sports team, dance class or getting workout partner for the gym.
• Neighborhood or city community can be built be showing up at your local playground, a neighborhood block party, or mentoring a disadvantaged youth.
• Virtual community is a way to connect with others, but make sure it’s not your only connection with other people.
Connecting with God
Of course, the first one to make a connection with is the most important One, with God.
Through prayer and our relationship with God we have the most primary and meaningful connection possible.
Prayer is talking with God, not at Him. It’s a holy conversation of both speaking and listening. Your words don’t have to be perfect or rehearsed, just real and from your heart.
Tell God how you feel and what you need. Thank Him for all He has done for you and for those you love. When you don’t know what to say, even the simple prayer of, “Help!” will reach the loving ears of God.
How to overcome loneliness
• Ask God to make His presence real and close to you today. Ask Him to help you have hope things really can change in your life. You can also ask God to give you courage to reach out to another person today or to bring caring relationships—like friends, family, or other new people into your life.
• Pray. Below are some starter prayers to help get you out of feeling lonely and back to feeling hopeful again.
• Ask yourself: What is one thing you can do today to build a bridge, to connect with another person?
Jesus said, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).
When you know God, you are never alone.
***
Here are some short prayers on Overcoming Loneliness to get you started…
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
Psalm 25:16
Lord, You know the pain I am in right now. I feel so empty and alone. I know I’ve been isolated and need contact with other people, but sometimes it’s hard. Will you please help me learn how to build bridges to other people? I need closer friendships. I need close-knit community. I long for it. Help me to overcome and find joy again. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
And surely I am with you always,
to the very end of the age.
Matthew 28:20
Lord, what a comfort it is to know that You are always with me, and that You never leave. So many times people disappoint me. I want to trust and make connections with people, but it hasn’t happened yet. With you, there is peace and stability. You are my strength when I am weak, my true consolation when I am sad. Here in Your presence I abide, I dwell. Thank you for always being near. I am never alone. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
God sets the lonely in families…
Psalm 68:6
Lord, I need you. I have felt alone and friendless lately. Will you help me to get connected with my family, or people who may become like family to me? Will you fill this emptiness in me with Your love, so I can be filled up and have something to offer others? I need community. I need friendship. Please show me where I belong. I want to walk this path of life with others who will build me up, not tear me down. And, I want to encourage others, to give and take. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31
Lord, it makes me glad to know that you are for me! You, the One who is ultimate love and ultimate authority designed me and has favor toward me. Thank you. In my desolate desert times I have felt so alone, so desperate at times. But when I remember the truth that You are with me and for me, it releases the pain and fills my heart with hope and joy. I am grateful. And I praise Your holy name. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
More resources by Jackie M. Johnson:
• When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty (How to Get Over a Breakup)
• Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough (Hope and Encouragement for DifficultTimes)
• Hope on the Go (Bite-Sized Encouragement for Busy People)
• Singles Blog
Photo: Jure Širić, Unsplash
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