lonely Archives - Jackie M. Johnson

When You Feel Lonely: Powerful Hope for Living Connected

Loneliness. It’s not a topic most people talk about.

Whether you’ve just ended a relationship and friends are scarce, or you’re so busy at work that you don’t have time for new friendships—there are many reasons we feel isolated or alone.

In fact, we can be lonely because we are physically alone, or we can feel left out or alienated even when we are surrounded by people.

No matter what the reason, it hurts to feel isolated, disconnected or unnoticed.

Loneliness vs. Solitude
But there’s a difference between loneliness and solitude. Sometimes we need the peace and quiet time alone brings; other times we need connection with others.

Solitude can be replenishing after a hard week at work or in our prayer time with God. With the One who loves us most we can pour out our problems to God, ask for help, and thank Him for all He has done for us.

Hosea 2:14 reads, “I will lead you into solitude and there I shall speak to your heart.” In the stillness, in the quiet, we can hear what God is trying to communicate to us. Away from noise and distractions we can absorb truth in new ways.

Loneliness is different.

One definition says that “Loneliness is a painful awareness that we lack close and meaningful contact with others. It involves a feeling of inner emptiness, isolation and intense longing.”

In addition, you may feel feel sad, anxious or inferior because you are unable to connect with people—or connect with a certain person.

The importance of connection
We live in society that exalts self-reliance, and a time when we are more disconnected than ever.

From my living room in Colorado, I can email my family in Minnesota or Facebook with readers in Brazil. Other the other hand, technology may limit a person’s face-to-face-interactions and in-person friendships.

Online, for instance, we may go wide (have a lot of ‘friends’) but not go deep (as in having meaningful relationships with good friends).

We all need to connect with other people.

We can do so by building bridges to other people, and connecting in person, and not living solely a virtual life. Bridges provide a link from one place to another. Friendships connect one isolated person to another, and soon community is built.

Getting connected
We were created to need each other and to serve each other’s needs. Indeed, our longing for love, friendship and heart friends (close friends) is real. It’s vital to our emotional wellbeing.

The truth is, you can build connections in all different areas of life. Consider these areas of community to connect with others:

• Spiritual community with people at church, or in a small group, prayer group, missions team or one-on-one with someone like-minded.
• Social community through a bowling league, mom’s group, singles group, coffee with friends.
• Intellectual community with people from work, joining a book group or other group with shared interests.
• Physical community in joining a sports team, dance class or getting workout partner for the gym.
• Neighborhood or city community can be built be showing up at your local playground, a neighborhood block party, or mentoring a disadvantaged youth.
• Virtual community is a way to connect with others, but make sure it’s not your only connection with other people.

Connecting with God

Of course, the first one to make a connection with is the most important One, with God.

Through prayer and our relationship with God we have the most primary and meaningful connection possible.

Prayer is talking with God, not at Him. It’s a holy conversation of both speaking and listening. Your words don’t have to be perfect or rehearsed, just real and from your heart.

Tell God how you feel and what you need. Thank Him for all He has done for you and for those you love. When you don’t know what to say, even the simple prayer of, “Help!” will reach the loving ears of God.

How to overcome loneliness
• Ask God to make His presence real and close to you today. Ask Him to help you have hope things really can change in your life. You can also ask God to give you courage to reach out to another person today or to bring caring relationships—like friends, family, or other new people into your life.
• Pray. Below are some starter prayers to help get you out of feeling lonely and back to feeling hopeful again.
• Ask yourself: What is one thing you can do today to build a bridge, to connect with another person?

Jesus said, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

When you know God, you are never alone.

***

Here are some short prayers on Overcoming Loneliness to get you started…

Turn to me and be gracious to me, 
for I am lonely and afflicted.
Psalm 25:16
Lord, You know the pain I am in right now. I feel so empty and alone. I know I’ve been isolated and need contact with other people, but sometimes it’s hard. Will you please help me learn how to build bridges to other people? I need closer friendships. I need close-knit community. I long for it. Help me to overcome and find joy again. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

And surely I am with you always,
to the very end of the age.
Matthew 28:20
Lord, what a comfort it is to know that You are always with me, and that You never leave. So many times people disappoint me. I want to trust and make connections with people, but it hasn’t happened yet. With you, there is peace and stability. You are my strength when I am weak, my true consolation when I am sad. Here in Your presence I abide, I dwell. Thank you for always being near. I am never alone. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

God sets the lonely in families…
Psalm 68:6
Lord, I need you. I have felt alone and friendless lately. Will you help me to get connected with my family, or people who may become like family to me? Will you fill this emptiness in me with Your love, so I can be filled up and have something to offer others? I need community. I need friendship. Please show me where I belong. I want to walk this path of life with others who will build me up, not tear me down. And, I want to encourage others, to give and take. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31
Lord, it makes me glad to know that you are for me! You, the One who is ultimate love and ultimate authority designed me and has favor toward me. Thank you. In my desolate desert times I have felt so alone, so desperate at times. But when I remember the truth that You are with me and for me, it releases the pain and fills my heart with hope and joy. I am grateful. And I praise Your holy name. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

More resources by Jackie M. Johnson:

• When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty (How to Get Over a Breakup)
• Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough (Hope and Encouragement for DifficultTimes)
• Hope on the Go (Bite-Sized Encouragement for Busy People)
• Singles Blog

Photo: Jure Širić, Unsplash

By Jackie M. Johnson

The Absolutely Wonderful, Life-Changing Truth About Christmas

Christmas. For many, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

You know those happy folks: they can’t get enough of the twinkling lights, tree decorating, holiday baking, Hallmark holiday movies, gift giving and general festive merriment.

For others, it’s a sad time. Those who have lost loved ones—through death, divorce, or other means—often find it hard to find joy in the season. They’re feeling lonely or depressed, and can’t wait until it’s all over and the last sprig of mistletoe is packed away for another year.

Single and single again adults sometimes have a tough time during the Christmas season. For help and hope, read How to Survive the Holidays for Singles.

Sure, there are gifts and gatherings, carols and eggnog, decorations and stockings, but the JOY comes from remembering the birth of Christ, the Light of the World. Hope for all Mankind.

An angel appears to a young Mary, engaged to Joseph. Mary becomes pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit. A mystery. A virgin birth.

Then, an angel appears to shepherds in the fields tending their sheep at night. That must have been a sight! The dark sky lit up by an angel telling them that the Christ child had been born. And the shepherds hurried to see the new baby.

Later on, kings visit the child and bring gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. They followed a bright star and came to pay honor to the King of kings.

Read the story in Luke 2.

The absolutely wonderful, life-changing truth about Christmas is that we can celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ—a baby in a manger who grew up and changed the world forever.

He is our LIGHT in the darkness (of darkened hearts and difficult times)

He is Immanuel, God WITH us. Not distant or far away. Here. With you.

He showed us how to live and LOVE each other.

He is our Savior. Christ died on Cross and rose again from death to life—victorious and alive! Why? To pay the price needed to redeem us (free us) from our sins and enable us to live forgiven and free.

Love came down to Earth to show us the way.

Eternity stepped into time so we could understand—and live forever with God, the One who loves us most. Joy on Earth, and forever in Heaven.

That is a fantastic reason to celebrate: God and sinners reconciled! The best gift ever. Joy to the World! The Lord has come.

The Christ child changed everything.

So take a read of this poem I wrote about the true meaning of Christmas. May it bless you and all you choose to share it with.

What is Christmas?

Christmas is where it all began,
An infant child who became a man.
Eternity came down so we could understand,
The child of Creator, the true Son of Man.

He was not unexpected, for the prophets foretold
The events that had happened would surely unfold.
Four hundred years later the miracle came,
The star over Bethlehem shone where He lay.

They came to attend Him from near and from far,
The shepherds and wise men who followed the star.
All were rejoicing that first Christmas night,
At the child of a virgin, a humbling sight.

So, what is the meaning of that first Christmas night?
Simply, He came to make everything right.
For the Child had a purpose in coming to Earth.
He came as a light and to give us new birth.

He gave us forgiveness and paid with His life.
What kind of love would pay such a price?
For death could not hold Him; He rose from that grave.
And freedom and life were the gifts that He gave.

No longer divided, no longer alone,
Because of His love the wall had come down.
Live free forever! O, what a gift!
Both now here on earth and forever with Him.

Wise men and angels followed Him then.
Wise men still seek Him, again and again.
— Jackie M. Johnson

May you still seek Him—and find the life-giving love, joy and peace of Jesus Christ at Christmas and always.

Merry Christmas!
Jackie

Resource

If you’re stressed or depressed, this book is packed with help and hope and short, relevant prayers you can pray on a variety of topics in tough times: Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough By Jackie M. Johnson

Photo credit (Christmas tree): Jonathan Borba, Pexels

By Jackie M. Johnson

Feeling Lonely? Here’s Hope

Feeling lonely? Isolated?

Many people are, especially in this (dare I say) “unprecedented” time of the COVID-19 virus we’re living in across the globe.

Still.

It’s been many months and we are continuing to be told to stay home as much as possible, social distance from people in public, and avoid close contact.

The loneliness thing is even more difficult for those who live alone. If you are working at home (like many of us are) and live alone, it can feel empty. You miss handshakes and hugs and the joy of face-to-face conversation.

And the weeks are dragging on.

I get it.

The truth is, we were created for connection and relationships of all kinds. Love and friendship are vital to our emotional well-being.

So, what can you do during this crisis to feel less alone and more connected?

First, connect with God. Make your primary connection an ongoing and connected relationship with the One who loves you most.

I want to encourage you to press in to the relationship you have with God. He wants to know you—and for you to know Him—just as you would a close friend.

He longs to love and guide you through this hard and messy life. Make time to “seek His face” (who He is), not just his hands (what He can do for you).

Creator of all, our good God is faithful and true, loving and just, compassionate and kind. He is strong and mighty. Trust Him with your heart, tell Him all you long for, and believe He will see you through.

Through prayer and talking with God, we can have the most meaningful connection possible.

• Prayer is a holy conversation of both speaking and listening with God. He knows you better than you know yourself. In fact, He created you! So your words don’t have to be perfect or rehearsed, just real and from your heart. Pray and talk with God about your feelings and fears. Even when you feel lonely. There’s a helpful prayer below you can pray. When you know God, you are never alone. Today, ask God to make His presence real to you.

• Remember Who is in control. It’s important to remember that God is bigger than this crisis. He is sovereign and in control. Remember His mercy. His power and strength. His comfort and unconditional love for you.

• Get out the Good Book. Turn off the TV news once in a while, and pull out your Bible. Take time to read it more than you usually do, and in doing so you will be saturating yourself with God’s powerful Word. The truths in the Bible never return empty, but accomplish God’s purposes. (Isaiah 55:11)

• Use this time wisely. Get a journal or notebook (or device) and write down what God is teaching you during this time. Consider and journal these questions: What needs to change in your life? How can you pray for others? What is on God’s heart for such a time as this?

Then, connect with others in virtual community. Our women’s Bible study has been meeting on Zoom every Wednesday night. You can make a plan to have virtual visits to connect with family or friends, too. Sure, it’s not the same as in-person time, but it sure helps to have some sort of human interaction—even on a computer or phone screen.

If you don’t have virtual connection capabilities, you can phone or text a friend.

And, depending upon where you live, you can actually get together with people in person and connect. (But you may still need to wear a mask (a face covering) in many places.)

By reaching out to someone, and connecting, you could be the answer to someone else’s prayer. Your friend may be feeling lonely too, and you could brighten her day with a call to check in, a simple text, or the promise of a future time to get together.

Here’s a powerful prayer you can pray when you feel lonely:

“Lord, I have this lonely ache inside of me. I feel so isolated. And sometimes I am afraid. I long to connect with others, but right now it’s challenging. It’s difficult to be alone so much–or not connecting with others as often.

Yet, I take comfort that you are bigger than this crisis. I thank You, Lord, that You are always near. When Your presence is with me, I am never really alone.

Will you help me to choose FAITH over fear? To be aware and not afraid? And to TRUST that You are in control even when I don’t always see it or feel it?

Saturate my heart, soul and mind with Your unchanging truths because the TRUTH will set me free.

Thank you for being my protector, my provider, and my strong peace. I choose to trust You. I pray believing. In Jesus’ mighty and powerful name. Amen.”

Amen! Be at peace.

For more hope and inspiration, check out these books by Jackie M. Johnson:

Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough

Power Prayers for Women

Prayers with Purpose for Women

When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty

By Jackie M. Johnson

Holiday Blues? 6 Ways to Find Joy Again

It’s that time of year again, the season we’ve come to call “the holidays.”

For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

You look forward to parties with friends, delightful family visits, baking cookies, laughter, decorating and fun. It’s like a Hallmark holiday movie or a nostalgic Norman Rockwell painting.

It’s a happy time.

For others, the holiday season can be lonely or sad. Or even downright depressing.

Perhaps you’ve lost a loved one through death, divorce or a devastating breakup. You feel alone and isolated. Your heart is heavy, but you try to put on a smile.

Maybe your family get togethers are challenging—they’re more about fighting than feasting—or your relatives don’t even gather at all.

For whatever reason you’re feeling downright miserable.

You wonder how you will slug through the coming weeks, and you can’t wait until the season is over.

Sigh.

I get it. I’ve been there. To be sure, I’ve had my own seasons of sorrow over the holiday season.

Years ago, I was nursing an unexpected breakup. I remember the fresh sadness of rejection and the feeling of being un-coupled in a very coupled world—especially at the Christmas Eve church service.

My favorite part is when each person holds up a candle in the dark sanctuary while we sing “Silent Night.” It’s a moment I wanted to share with a special someone, and I felt so alone.

Thankfully, God is our healer and helper. He cares that we hurt, and He longs to comfort and heal our pain and circumstances.

Over the years, I’ve learned to find a new perspective on this celebratory season. Here are six great ways to take the focus off your discouragement and find new joy again during the holidays.

1. Focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus is not only the “reason for the season,” He is the reason for everything in our lives. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to Earth to show us how to love and how to truly live. Read Luke 2:4-19.

2. Pray. Ask God to soothe your blues and take away your loneliness or sadness. Ask Him for peace and joy, comfort and healing. Remember that God is bigger than your circumstances. He has the wisdom, power and love to change things. And, He is with us in the waiting. My book, Praying With Power When Life Gets Tough, is a good resource with stories of hope, practical help, and short prayers you can pray on a variety of topics.

3. Serve others. Joy comes as we serve others. Perhaps there is a local food bank or homeless shelter where you can serve a holiday meal. Volunteer at your church. I remember one holiday season our church singles group offered to babysit so parents could go Christmas shopping.

4. Remember the love you have. Gratefulness leads to joy. Instead of moaning about being single at the holidays, focus on the love you already have in your life—the love of family members, friends, people from church groups, and others.

5. Start new traditions. If the people you long to be with over the holidays are not available, find others with whom to celebrate. Have a few friends over to your place for snacks and holiday movies. Host a caroling party. Invite someone over on Christmas Eve who may need a place to celebrate—a widow, a new person in town, or other singles. Be creative and start some new holiday traditions.

6. Have hope for the future. Look ahead. The New Year is just around the corner. Have hope that things can be better in the days to come. You can have hope because God has a plan. In time, the holidays will pass. But remember that God is good and faithful all year long. He will take care of you.

Here’s a poem I wrote on the true meaning of Christmas. I hope it blesses you. Feel free to share with others.

What is Christmas?

Christmas is where it all began,
An infant child who became a man.
Eternity came down so we could understand,
The child of Creator, the true Son of Man.

He was not unexpected, for the prophets foretold
The events that had happened would surely unfold.
Four hundred years later the miracle came,
The star over Bethlehem shone where He lay.

They came to attend Him from near and from far,
The shepherds and wise men who followed the star.
All were rejoicing that first Christmas night,
At the child of a virgin, a humbling sight.

So, what is the meaning of that first Christmas night?
Simply, He came to make everything right.
For the Child had a purpose in coming to Earth.
He came as a light and to give us new birth.

He gave us forgiveness and paid with His life.
What kind of love would pay such a price?
For death could not hold Him; He rose from that grave.
And freedom and life were the gifts that He gave.

No longer divided, no longer alone,
Because of His love the wall had come down.
Live free forever! O, what a gift!
Both now here on earth and forever with Him.

Wise men and angels followed Him then.
Wise men still seek Him, again and again.

– Jackie M. Johnson

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Jackie

For more resources by Jackie M. Johnson, click here.

By Jackie M. Johnson