Imagine a night with a million stars in the sky. It is cold and dark. You are a young shepherd sitting on a hillside tending the flock. It is quiet, except for the occasional bleating of the sheep. And a few words with your fellow shepherds. It is an ordinary night. Then suddenly, a bright light bursts open the darkness! And there’s an angel. An angel! And the angel is speaking to you in your own language. What would you do? Here’s the true story: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.’ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. –Luke 2:8-19 Long ago, ordinary shepherds were astonished that an angel had chosen them to hear the extraordinary good news: He’s here! He came! Just like the prophets of old said He would hundreds of years before. Messiah. Jesus Christ. Deliverer has come! What else could they do but go to see—and fall on their knees in awe and worship. And now, we celebrate again the wonder of night Christ was born. And we, too, fall on our knees and worship in awe. Grateful for the Love that changed everything. God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die. John 3:16 (CEV) For more Christmas and Advent posts by Jackie M. Johnson: Preparing Your Heart for Christmas (Part 1) Preparing Your Heart for Christmas (Part 2) Preparing Your Heart for Christmas (Part 3) Photo credit: Kailash Kumar, pexels
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
Loneliness. It’s not a topic most people talk about.
Whether you’ve just ended a relationship and friends are scarce, or you’re so busy at work that you don’t have time for new friendships—there are many reasons we feel isolated or alone.
In fact, we can be lonely because we are physically alone, or we can feel left out or alienated even when we are surrounded by people.
No matter what the reason, it hurts to feel isolated, disconnected or unnoticed.
Loneliness vs. Solitude
But there’s a difference between loneliness and solitude. Sometimes we need the peace and quiet time alone brings; other times we need connection with others.
Solitude can be replenishing after a hard week at work or in our prayer time with God. With the One who loves us most we can pour out our problems to God, ask for help, and thank Him for all He has done for us.
Hosea 2:14 reads, “I will lead you into solitude and there I shall speak to your heart.” In the stillness, in the quiet, we can hear what God is trying to communicate to us. Away from noise and distractions we can absorb truth in new ways.
Loneliness is different.
One definition says that “Loneliness is a painful awareness that we lack close and meaningful contact with others. It involves a feeling of inner emptiness, isolation and intense longing.”
In addition, you may feel feel sad, anxious or inferior because you are unable to connect with people—or connect with a certain person.
The importance of connection
We live in society that exalts self-reliance, and a time when we are more disconnected than ever.
From my living room in Colorado, I can email my family in Minnesota or Facebook with readers in Brazil. Other the other hand, technology may limit a person’s face-to-face-interactions and in-person friendships.
Online, for instance, we may go wide (have a lot of ‘friends’) but not go deep (as in having meaningful relationships with good friends).
We all need to connect with other people.
We can do so by building bridges to other people, and connecting in person, and not living solely a virtual life. Bridges provide a link from one place to another. Friendships connect one isolated person to another, and soon community is built.
Getting connected
We were created to need each other and to serve each other’s needs. Indeed, our longing for love, friendship and heart friends (close friends) is real. It’s vital to our emotional wellbeing.
The truth is, you can build connections in all different areas of life. Consider these areas of community to connect with others:
• Spiritual community with people at church, or in a small group, prayer group, missions team or one-on-one with someone like-minded.
• Social community through a bowling league, mom’s group, singles group, coffee with friends.
• Intellectual community with people from work, joining a book group or other group with shared interests.
• Physical community in joining a sports team, dance class or getting workout partner for the gym.
• Neighborhood or city community can be built be showing up at your local playground, a neighborhood block party, or mentoring a disadvantaged youth.
• Virtual community is a way to connect with others, but make sure it’s not your only connection with other people.
Connecting with God
Of course, the first one to make a connection with is the most important One, with God.
Through prayer and our relationship with God we have the most primary and meaningful connection possible.
Prayer is talking with God, not at Him. It’s a holy conversation of both speaking and listening. Your words don’t have to be perfect or rehearsed, just real and from your heart.
Tell God how you feel and what you need. Thank Him for all He has done for you and for those you love. When you don’t know what to say, even the simple prayer of, “Help!” will reach the loving ears of God.
How to overcome loneliness
• Ask God to make His presence real and close to you today. Ask Him to help you have hope things really can change in your life. You can also ask God to give you courage to reach out to another person today or to bring caring relationships—like friends, family, or other new people into your life.
• Pray. Below are some starter prayers to help get you out of feeling lonely and back to feeling hopeful again.
• Ask yourself: What is one thing you can do today to build a bridge, to connect with another person?
Jesus said, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).
When you know God, you are never alone.
***
Here are some short prayers on Overcoming Loneliness to get you started…
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
Psalm 25:16
Lord, You know the pain I am in right now. I feel so empty and alone. I know I’ve been isolated and need contact with other people, but sometimes it’s hard. Will you please help me learn how to build bridges to other people? I need closer friendships. I need close-knit community. I long for it. Help me to overcome and find joy again. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
And surely I am with you always,
to the very end of the age.
Matthew 28:20
Lord, what a comfort it is to know that You are always with me, and that You never leave. So many times people disappoint me. I want to trust and make connections with people, but it hasn’t happened yet. With you, there is peace and stability. You are my strength when I am weak, my true consolation when I am sad. Here in Your presence I abide, I dwell. Thank you for always being near. I am never alone. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
God sets the lonely in families…
Psalm 68:6
Lord, I need you. I have felt alone and friendless lately. Will you help me to get connected with my family, or people who may become like family to me? Will you fill this emptiness in me with Your love, so I can be filled up and have something to offer others? I need community. I need friendship. Please show me where I belong. I want to walk this path of life with others who will build me up, not tear me down. And, I want to encourage others, to give and take. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31
Lord, it makes me glad to know that you are for me! You, the One who is ultimate love and ultimate authority designed me and has favor toward me. Thank you. In my desolate desert times I have felt so alone, so desperate at times. But when I remember the truth that You are with me and for me, it releases the pain and fills my heart with hope and joy. I am grateful. And I praise Your holy name. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
More resources by Jackie M. Johnson:
• When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty (How to Get Over a Breakup)
• Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough (Hope and Encouragement for DifficultTimes)
• Hope on the Go (Bite-Sized Encouragement for Busy People)
• Singles Blog
Photo: Jure Širić, Unsplash
For some singles, the February 14 heart holiday, celebrating all things love and romance, can be challenging–especially if you don’t have a special someone in your life right now.
I know people in the “uncoupled” stage of life who bemoan their single status and gripe to just about anyone who will listen:
I just want a boyfriend.
I just want to be married.
Why does she get a second husband when I haven’t had one at all?
You probably know single people like that.
I know I do.
Then there are the cynical one who mock V-Day with snide remarks like,
Who cares? It’s just a Hallmark holiday anyway.
And yet, on a positive note, I know interesting and intelligent single women who celebrate with friends; they throw a party and just have fun.
Indeed, singles look at Valentine’s Day with very different attitudes.
So if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a special someone, you can not only endure but enjoy Valentine’s Day.
Here are five helpful ways singles can find more HOPE and JOY on the love holiday—and throughout the year:
1. Know that you are enough. It’s OK to feel discouraged when you don’t have someone special to love (or like). But don’t set up camp there. Move forward with hope by telling yourself the truth about your identity and your single status. The truth is:
• You are dearly loved by God. You are the “apple of His eye.” He is with you; He is for you. He cares about every area of your life, even your love life.
• You are loved by others. Don’t discount the other kinds of love in your life—family love, friend love, and more. You may not have romantic love right now. But choose to be grateful for those in your life whom you love, and love you.
• You are not alone. Nearly 50.2 percent of us (or 124.6 million) American adults are single.
2. Let it go. Sometimes we hold on so tightly to what we think we want and how the whole dating/marriage thing is supposed to play out in our lives. We see what others have and get envious or jealous.
Instead, I’ve learned the way to find peace is to surrender, to let go of your heart’s desires and give them to God, the One who loves you most. Allow God to reign in this area of life. Knowing that God wants the very best for me allows me to trust Him.
In my book When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty I talk about the fact that God is all about love and relationships.
But sometimes we try to fill that desire for lasting love with other things, or people, and they lend up leaving us feeling empty and alone.
“Often we try to load up our heart and fill the holes with what another person thinks, says, or does when it was meant to be filled by God. He won’t let anyone be our total fulfillment, otherwise we wouldn’t need Him.
It’s not wrong to want a relationship. God is all about relationships…As we put God first in our heart affections, He fills up the emptiness and we are able to receive the love of others, retain it, and give it away.
Perhaps you think because God hasn’t given you someone to love, that He doesn’t care or that He’s forgotten about your desires. God is not forgetful or uncaring. He is constantly at work in the lives of His children, and everything God does is for a reason—even His divine delays.” — When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty, by Jackie M. Johnson.
3. Prepare. Are you ready to be in a relationship? What needs to change in your life? Maybe it’s time to think about being the right person before finding the right person. For instance, getting rid of emotional “garbage” in your head and your heart—like bad attitudes about the opposite sex or a critical spirit.
Then, think about what you really want in a relationship and how things can be different next time. For example, maybe the last guy you dated was too serious and you want someone more playful? Or, you want to have your boyfriend or girlfriend attend church with you. Think about what’s important in your life.
4. Pray. Ask God to show you what needs to change in your own life to prepare for your next relationship—like your spiritual life, physical, social, financial and the like.
Also, pray for your future husband or wife. Ask God for His best for you. You can come confidently and boldly to Him and ask for your heart’s desire.
5. Choose joy now. Don’t wait to have a man in your life or a woman on your arm to be happy.
Sure, it’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. But you, single friend, can choose to have peace and joy in your life despite your circumstances.
Make a plan to get together with other single friends.
Celebrate love of all kinds and maybe send a card, e-card, or text to family members or friends to show you care.
Instead of drowning your sorrows in massive amounts of chocolate this Valentine’s Day, rejoice in who you are—dearly loved, special and chosen by God.
Don’t let one candy-infused, heart holiday hijack your hope. Despite your feelings, or marital status, you can choose joy today.
I, for one, choose to be confident and hopeful—on Valentine’s Day and every day of the year.
Photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels
Life is hard. No doubt about it. But you can find help and hope when you press in and pray on. Learn how to pray powerfully and effectively in “Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough.”
When you feel like giving up, check out the prayers for PERSEVERANCE.
When you’re busy and stressed, you’ll like the prayers for PEACE and REST.
When life is a mess, you’ll appreciate prayers for SIMPLICITY and ORDER.
When you’re disappointed, there are prayers for ENCOURAGEMENT.
When you’re depressed, you’ll want to read the prayers for wild HOPE and renewed JOY.
When you feel insecure, check out prayers for CONFIDENCE.
When you feel fearful, there are prayers for COURAGE.
And so much more.
I know you will find hope and encouragement in the pages of this book. I’ve been through tough times myself and I’ve seen firsthand how God can work to change things for the good.
Remember, God can do anything! Have faith. Trust Him. Prayer is powerful because God is powerful–and loving, and kind and wise.
Praying for you! May this book help and bless you.
Available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, ChristianBooks.com, WalMart.com, or wherever books are sold.
Other Books on Prayer by Jackie M. Johnson
So how are you doing with the “stay at home” order? Working from home? Teaching your kids? Social distancing? COVID-19 coronavirus affects us all.
If you need some helpful resources to stay sane and spiritually strong, I’ve compiled a good read for you.
Here is a list of my most recent blog posts to help you navigate the stormy waters and daily life of “Life in the Time of the Coronavirus” as we know it now.
Read on and feel free to share with others. (Click the title to read the entire post.)
Help and Hope for “Life in the Time of the Coronavirus”
1. How to Handle Fear about the Coronavirus. In these days of uncertainty, you may be feeling fearful or anxious. What’s going to happen? Will I be safe? What about my loved ones? We need to know the truth, so we can be set free from fear. Includes helpful Bible verses and prayer against fear.
2. Staying Sane While Staying Home During the Coronavirus. This is written for singles and singles parents, but it will help anyone who reads it to get a fresh infusion of hope, practical tips and increased trust in God.
3. Prayer Against COVID-19 (Coronavirus). Join me in praying for the COVID-19 coronavirus to STOP! May is pass over us and end soon. Prayer is powerful because God is powerful.
4. How to Know For Certain You’ll Go to Heaven – Discovering God’s Love and Amazing Grace. Do you know with certainty that if you died today that you would go to heaven? That, my friend, is the most important question you will ever answer in your lifetime. Read on and get the certainty you need.
Lastly, I believe we will get through this time. And, we will become stronger and better. Circumstances do not make a life; it’s HOW we handle them that makes the difference.
Our times are in God’s hands. Be at peace.
Jackie M. Johnson