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Discouraged? 4 Vital Ways to Stand Strong When You Feel Like Giving Up

Life can be challenging. No matter what your age or life stage, we all get discouraged.

Whether you’re stressed from too much work, or anxious because you lost your job, you may feel depleted. Maybe you’re wiped out from caring for kids or aging parents all day–or you’re lonely because you just moved across the country and don’t know anyone yet. Either way, we all have times when we feel like giving up.

How do you press on when you just don’t have it in you? How do you stand strong in challenging times?

You need a solid foundation.

When a skyscraper is under construction, workers first dig a foundation and then pound steel reinforcing rods called pylons deep into the earth so the building will stand tall and not tumble.

Then, concrete is poured into the shaft with the pylons for a super-strong hold.

The same can be true as you build a “foundation” in your own life—as you grow deeper, you grow stronger in your faith. As you immerse yourself in the ways and wisdom of God, the reinforced truth, like pylons of

Hope,

Trust,

Courage, and

Faith,

help you become stronger on the inside.

So when you’re discouraged, and your life is spiraling downward, you will be able to withstand more readily the gale-force winds of hard times and pain because your inner foundation is deep and strong.

Steel upon steel, story upon story a structure is built.

Likewise, God’s Word tells us that hope comes step by step as “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3, 4)

So, how do you press on when times are tough? Here are four (4) vital things to help you persevere with God’s strength:

1) Cast your cares. Don’t take on burdens you were never meant to bear—like worry, fear and doubt. They’ll weigh you down and hinder you from being effective.

Instead, give God your fears; surrender trying to do it all on your own to Him. In other words, like a fishing line, “cast your cares, and don’t reel them back in again.” Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

2) Press on in prayer. Prayer is the foundation upon which everything else is built in your life. It the most important thing you can do. You may think, “I’ve already prayed, what other solutions are there?” Keep on praying.

Talk to God about your situation, because He is the one who has the power to change it. As you pray, believe God is working and stand in the strength you receive.

3) Send in reinforcements. Sometimes you need backup. It’s amazing what happens when you receive support in prayer from friends and family members who are willing to pray for you and with you.

When you don’t know what to pray, when you’re spent emotionally or physically, or, like Moses, when you need someone to “hold up your arms” (to support you), the prayers of others on your behalf can give you a boost to keep going.

4) Take action. Taking one small step can lead to another and another and it builds momentum, and things begin to change. You will not be in this hard place forever. God will help you through. Unlike others who may have let you down, God keeps His promises. When you take action in prayer, God moves on your behalf.

Perseverance takes courage. Believe that God hears your prayers; He sees your tears, and He is at work in your life.

There are still purposes to be fulfilled—lives to touch, things to accomplish, and character to be formed on the inside.

Press on, pray on, with holy tenacity, holding on to hope that one day—maybe soon—things will change for the better: the check will come, the job will be yours, or the house will be filled with a child’s laughter.

Today, we pray and trust Him.


RESOURCES

For more hope and inspiration, check out these books by Jackie M. Johnson:

Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough
Power Prayers for Women
Prayers with Purpose for Women

Singles + Single Parents: Staying Sane While Staying Home During the Coronavirus

We are living in strange and unprecedented times.

Currently, the coronavirus (COVID-19) is spreading across the world. People are staying home and isolating, and not always by choice. In fact, this global pandemic is changing daily the way many of us live, work, worship and play—or don’t.

Schools are closed. Sporting events are cancelled. Movie theatres and restaurants are closed. Even church doors are shuttered (but thankfully many houses of worship provide online services).

It seems like much of American life is closing down —at least for the next few weeks—so we can “flatten the curve” and help slow down the spread of this virus.

Now What?

How do we live in this unexpected, isolated new world?

For one thing, many of us are now working from home or not working at all.

For singles, that presents some new challenges. After days on end without people contact, you may feel lonely and isolated. Staying at home can be hard because we are social beings; we need human interaction.

You can’t go out to eat or to the movies—or even to church events—since most everything is closed, and when you do venture out (say, to the grocery store) you’re supposed to be “social distancing” (staying at least six feet away from other people in public).

Single parents have their own challenges now too, with school closures. Because of the virus, kids are at home all day long. For some moms and dads, this can cause stress and anxiety. But it can also lead to creative “teachable moments” as parents are now the teachers.

More time at home can also lead to a closer and better family life as we consider again what is most important because our focus is changing.

If sports and theatres and restaurants and well, basically all activities are shut down, it forces us to do other things. Perhaps better and more bonding things. That is my hope for families.

Staying Sane and Strong

During this time of uncertainty and isolation, with more time at home, how can you find peace and squelch fear? Help others? Use your time wisely?

Here are six (6) key ways to stay sane and strong during the virus crisis—and throughout life:

1) Keep up your health.

By now, you’ve heard all the basics about staying healthy and keeping up your immune system so you are less likely to get the coronavirus: Wash hands for at least 20 seconds. Avoid touching your face as much as possible. Drink water. Eat healthy foods. Clean your cell phone often.

If you’re feeling lonely or isolated, call or text a friend or FaceTime with someone during your lunch hour to feel more connected. Shore up your emotional health as well as your physical health.

2) Get a handle on fear.

It’s normal to feel fear during these precarious times. No one knows how much the virus will spread or when it will stop. Feeling fearful is only human. It’s what you do next that makes the difference between living in fear or finding peace.

Will you choose worry or trust God?

Peace comes as you remember what God has done in the past. Think of how he has helped you through tough times before, and believe that He will help you now.

Fear says, “I cannot handle this situation.” Faith says, “But God can.”

Remember Peter in the Bible, the one who walked on water when Christ beckoned him to come? When Peter’s eyes were on Jesus, he stood firm. Eyes on the storm around him, he sank.

Likewise, we can keep our hearts tuned to what Christ says, looking to Him, not freaking ourselves out by looking at the turbulent circumstances around us.

Even though you have no idea what’s going to happen, inner strength can replace uncertainty when you shore up God’s truth inside of you.

Read encouraging Bible verses. Listen to praise and worship music. Pray. Keep your mind set so it doesn’t wander.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

3) Feed your mind.

It’s essential to keep perspective when news sources are bombarding the public with a constant stream of stories about the virus. Yes, it’s important to stay informed. But don’t overwhelm yourself by watching too much.

Instead, feed your mind with God’s unchanging truth from His Word, the Bible. This is your weapon against fear, anxiety, depression, loneliness and other feelings.

Truth leads to peace. Here are some comforting verses:

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear…”
Psalm 46:1-2

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7

Greg Laurie, pastor of Harvest Church in California posted a meme on Facebook recently:

“Turn your panic into PRAYER, turn your worry into WORSHIP, turn your fear into FAITH.”

4) Be the church.

A building is not “the church,” we are. The people who go to church can “be the church” to those in need at such a time as this.

Ask your family members, friends, neighbors, church family, and others if they need anything. You can drop off items on their doorstep to keep your social distance.

Donate to food banks (by drive-up, if possible). Keep giving to your church and other ministries (online or send a check in the mail).

Find creative ways to help others. As Christ-followers, we can be a light in a dark world. We can bring hope to the hopeless. And be a helping hand to those in need.

Lead with love. Love your family—even when they’re hard to handle. Love your friends, even though you may not see them as often now. Love changes everything.

5) Use your time wisely.

Spending more time at home can be both a challenge and an opportunity.

If you find that you have more time on your hands in this season, consider how you will use it. Maybe you need to catch up on rest. Or, start writing that book you’ve always wanted to write. Playing music, reading, and maybe even learning to cook with YouTube videos can help pass the time.

Since many nursing homes and assisted living facilities are on lockdown and they cannot have visitors in person right now, you could write a senior a card or letter. Like, a real snail-mail letter.

I heard that during another pandemic, the 1665 Plague of London, Sir Isaac Newton invented calculus. No pressure to invent something, but it made me think that this time away from other distractions could very well produce some good and creative things.

Here’s a great resource for those of you who want to watch helpful, biblical teaching videos on things relating to dating, sex, love and relationships. Author and speaker Brian Kluth has a free resource on those topics, “God’s Road Map for Single and Single-Again Adults.”

6) Get perspective.

Dr. James Dobson offers these wise and comforting words of hope on the coronavirus outbreak. You’ll definitely want to read that.

During this time of change and crisis, you may have to “do without” for a time. Do without hugs when you can’t visit those you love. Do without going out to eat or to movies or watch sports. For some, sadly, it’s doing without an income, not just paper goods or cleaning supplies. (And we can pray for those in need.)

Hopefully, that will lead to a greater appreciation for the people and things you do have. During this time of isolation and closures, choose gratitude. Gratitude leads to joy.

Finally, I believe that this time of virus and isolating will end. It will not last forever. And we will be stronger because of it.

In the meantime:

Stay calm.

Trust God.

And, wash your hands.

Prayer

“Lord, we ask for your help and healing in this time of uncertainty. Please stop the spread of this coronavirus (COVID-19) around the world. Help it to cease soon! Help those who are sick to heal. Help the first responders and medical professionals to stay safe and healthy as they treat others. Provide the supplies they need. And a cure. Be with those who are working at home or in the workplace to be productive, and not feel isolated or lonely. Help us all to stay healthy and keep our eyes on You, not the changing circumstances around us. May we be strong and better people for this, and may this virus crisis end soon. We trust in your goodness and faithfulness. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.”

Drop me a line below. How are you handling “more time at home” while people are isolating because of the coronavirus (COVID-19)?

RESOURCES

For more hope and inspiration, check out these books by Jackie M. Johnson:

Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough
Power Prayers for Women
Prayers with Purpose for Women

Photo credit: bongkarn thanyakij from Pexels

PRAYER AGAINST COVID-19 (Coronavirus)

PRAYER AGAINST COVID-19 (Coronavirus):

Lord, we ask today that you would stop the spread of this awful virus.

Please help people who are sick to recover, and that it would not affect others. May it STOP soon.

Help us to be PREPARED AND PRAYING.

Help fear to cease because You are in control, even when we do not see or feel it.

We choose to trust you. In Jesus’ Mighty and Powerful Name,

Amen!

Praying on…

PRAYER for help in the time of the coronavirus: 

Lord, we ask for your help and healing in this time of uncertainty. Please stop the spread of this coronavirus (COVID-19) around the world. Help it to cease soon!

Help those who are sick to heal. Help the first responders and medical professionals to stay safe and healthy as they treat others. Provide the supplies they need. And a cure.

Be with those who are working at home or in the workplace to be productive, and not feel isolated or lonely.

Help those who have lost their job or have reduced hours. People who need cash and supplies right now.

Help us all to stay healthy and keep our eyes on You, not the changing circumstances around us.

May we be strong and better people for this, and may this virus crisis end soon. We trust in your goodness and faithfulness.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

***

For more hope and inspiration, check out these books by Jackie M. Johnson:

Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough
Power Prayers for Women
Prayers with Purpose for Women
Photo credit: Will Sporada, Unsplash

Holiday Blues? 6 Ways to Find Joy Again

It’s that time of year again, the season we’ve come to call “the holidays.”

For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

You look forward to parties with friends, delightful family visits, baking cookies, laughter, decorating and fun. It’s like a Hallmark holiday movie or a nostalgic Norman Rockwell painting.

It’s a happy time.

For others, the holiday season can be lonely or sad. Or even downright depressing.

Perhaps you’ve lost a loved one through death, divorce or a devastating breakup. You feel alone and isolated. Your heart is heavy, but you try to put on a smile.

Maybe your family get togethers are challenging—they’re more about fighting than feasting—or your relatives don’t even gather at all.

For whatever reason you’re feeling downright miserable.

You wonder how you will slug through the coming weeks, and you can’t wait until the season is over.

Sigh.

I get it. I’ve been there. To be sure, I’ve had my own seasons of sorrow over the holiday season.

Years ago, I was nursing an unexpected breakup. I remember the fresh sadness of rejection and the feeling of being un-coupled in a very coupled world—especially at the Christmas Eve church service.

My favorite part is when each person holds up a candle in the dark sanctuary while we sing “Silent Night.” It’s a moment I wanted to share with a special someone, and I felt so alone.

Thankfully, God is our healer and helper. He cares that we hurt, and He longs to comfort and heal our pain and circumstances.

Over the years, I’ve learned to find a new perspective on this celebratory season. Here are six great ways to take the focus off your discouragement and find new joy again during the holidays.

1. Focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus is not only the “reason for the season,” He is the reason for everything in our lives. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to Earth to show us how to love and how to truly live. Read Luke 2:4-19.

2. Pray. Ask God to soothe your blues and take away your loneliness or sadness. Ask Him for peace and joy, comfort and healing. Remember that God is bigger than your circumstances. He has the wisdom, power and love to change things. And, He is with us in the waiting. My book, Praying With Power When Life Gets Tough, is a good resource with stories of hope, practical help, and short prayers you can pray on a variety of topics. 

3. Serve others. Joy comes as we serve others. Perhaps there is a local food bank or homeless shelter where you can serve a holiday meal. Volunteer at your church. I remember one holiday season our church singles group offered to babysit so parents could go Christmas shopping.

4. Remember the love you have. Gratefulness leads to joy. Instead of moaning about being single at the holidays, focus on the love you already have in your life—the love of family members, friends, people from church groups, and others.

5. Start new traditions. If the people you long to be with over the holidays are not available, find others with whom to celebrate. Have a few friends over to your place for snacks and holiday movies. Host a caroling party. Invite someone over on Christmas Eve who may need a place to celebrate—a widow, a new person in town, or other singles. Be creative and start some new holiday traditions.

6. Have hope for the future. Look ahead. The New Year is just around the corner. Have hope that things can be better in the days to come. You can have hope because God has a plan. In time, the holidays will pass. But remember that God is good and faithful all year long. He will take care of you.

Here’s a poem I wrote on the true meaning of Christmas. I hope it blesses you. Feel free to share with others. 

What is Christmas?

Christmas is where it all began,
An infant child who became a man.
Eternity came down so we could understand,
The child of Creator, the true Son of Man.

He was not unexpected, for the prophets foretold
The events that had happened would surely unfold.
Four hundred years later the miracle came,
The star over Bethlehem shone where He lay.

They came to attend Him from near and from far,
The shepherds and wise men who followed the star.
All were rejoicing that first Christmas night,
At the child of a virgin, a humbling sight.

So, what is the meaning of that first Christmas night?
Simply, He came to make everything right.
For the Child had a purpose in coming to Earth.
He came as a light and to give us new birth.

He gave us forgiveness and paid with His life.
What kind of love would pay such a price?
For death could not hold Him; He rose from that grave.
And freedom and life were the gifts that He gave.

No longer divided, no longer alone,
Because of His love the wall had come down.
Live free forever! O, what a gift!
Both now here on earth and forever with Him.

Wise men and angels followed Him then.
Wise men still seek Him, again and again.

                                        – Jackie M. Johnson

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Jackie

 

For more resources by Jackie M. Johnson, click here. 

How to Get Over a Breakup – Part 1 (Stabilize the Situation)

Years ago, I was talking with a guy friend (let’s call him Mitch). I was going through a heart-wrenching breakup at the time and I decided to ask him for his best advice on how to deal with it.

“So, how do you get over a breakup?” I asked my friend.

“You just do,” he replied nonchalantly.

“What do you mean? ‘You just do,’ I questioned, “How do you get over it?”

I was bewildered. I wanted action steps, a practical “how to” approach. Something.

But he had nothing to give me.

Thankfully, over the months that followed my baffling conversation with Mitch, I was able to find other avenues for healing my breakup blues.

I scoured the Bible, God’s words of life and wisdom, to find out about comfort and heart healing. I camped in the Psalms for a while and found in David a comrade. He poured his heart out to God about his trials and then looked up and worshipped Him.

Often during that tough time, I would say, “I do not understand, Lord, but I will trust you.”

I talked to my female friends. I went to a Christian counselor. I listened to praise music and went for walks in the woods talking with the Lord.

And…I found answers.

The good news is that God redeems loss and pain and heals the heart to love again.

It takes time to get over a breakup, to be sure. It also takes lots of prayer and telling yourself the truth—about your situation, about the other person, and about yourself, but healing eventually comes.

Sure, it’s not easy to deal with rejection and other myriad emotions that come from being dumped—or dumping someone else—but it is possible.

After all of my own horrible breakups, I’ve learned some helpful wisdom and was able to heal and move forward, In the process, I wrote a book called “When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty” (Moody Publishers) that helps you through all of the stages of breakup pain. It also gives you what you need to know for your new beginning.

This hard-won wisdom, forged in the dark times of emotional pain, will help to lead you back into the light. The book follows the cycle of a day—twilight, night, dawn and day—as a metaphor for the healing process.

Twilight is a time of endings. The sun is setting on your hopes and dreams of a future with this person. Yet how you deal with endings (or don’t) will determine the quality of your future love relationships.

Night is the dark time; you are grieving your losses. You’ve lost love, friendship, physical touch, and more. Thankfully, God provides “night lights” in the darkness, like His comfort, wisdom and love to guide the way back to joy and new beginnings.

Dawn is symbolic of awakening. Just as the first fingers of morning inch across the horizon shining sunlight on a new day, hope awakens in your heart healing journey. You begin to learn how God redeems losses and restores brokenness. You discover your true identity as a dearly-loved child of God. You regain confidence. You start to wake up again.

Day is your path to a new beginning. You find that letting go of the past is truly possible. It’s time to move forward into your future. You come alive and remember things you’ve forgotten or put aside like: gratitude, friendships and maybe even living your dreams. Radiance has returned, and with the light of Christ in you, you are ready to be a light to the world.

I will share with you inspiration from each of those four sections in four blog posts this week. Each post will be a different aspect on the “how to get over a breakup” topic.

So, let’s get started…

In the first days and weeks after a breakup, it’s important to stabilize the situation, get the comfort and support you need and begin to grieve your losses.

Stabilize the situation.
Breakups are painful because something has been broken: your precious heart. Like a physical injury, an emotional wound needs care and recovery time.

You need to protect your broken heart just as you would protect a broken arm. If you broke your arm, you’d immediately rush to the hospital and get a cast. Why? Because a cast protects the area from further injury and it allows the healing and repairing process to begin.

With a broken heart, you also need protection in order to stabilize the situation. A heart boundary or healthy emotional wall is needed for a time and for a purpose.

That means, separating from the source of pain (being away from the person you just broke up with) so you can prevent further injury and begin the healing process.

It can be extremely difficult not to communicate with him or her, but it will be easier to heal in the end.

You may be tempted to reach out to him or her and connect because that’s what you’re used to—it’s comfortable and familiar—but your goal here is not connecting, it’s disconnecting. It feels awful and lonely and different. But that’s just part of the process.

Of course, every situation is different. I’m not saying that you have to cut off all contact completely or forever. Some women I know have been able to be friends with people they’ve dated, but not right away. A time of separation is essential if you are ever going to have a platonic friendship in the future.

Breakups can be complicated, and you may need to have a few talks to get to the finale. But use wisdom and discretion. Hard as it can be, I’ve found that being away from the other person completely, at least initially, was more healing in the long run than the slow hanging-on-to-fragments-of-what’s-left relationship death.

Pray about it and ask God how to best tie up the loose ends of your ending.

Here’s some good news: When a broken bone is healed, it grows back even stronger. In the same way that a cast on a broken arm is for a time and a purpose, healing the emotional wreckage of your breakup is also for a season.

You won’t be in this painful place forever.

And your heart may grow back even stronger.

As your Breakup Recovery Coach, I’m proud of you for taking the first steps in this journey from darkness to light—from sadness and anger back into freedom, peace and joy.

There are better days ahead. It’s time for your heart healing journey to begin.