Ah, family. Sometimes it’s not easy to gather with those we love. Especially when people can become argumentative, difficult, or downright mean.
So, how can you get along better with relatives that you LOVE, but don’t always LIKE? Here’s practical help and inspiring hope from author, Cynthia L. Simmons. She offers some good insights in her guest blog post today.
Nothing ruins special occasions faster than a family squabble.
We all prefer what James called “wisdom from above” so your family time can be…“peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits.” (James 3:17).
Let’s consider some helpful relationship tips from God’s Word.
1. THINK LIKE JESUS. First, the Apostle Paul offered a powerful suggestion when he commented we should think like Jesus.
Based on Christ’s unselfishness, Paul said to “let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.” (Phil. 2:3)
In other words, consider the needs of that difficult person. Like you, he or she bears the image of God, so find ways to show respect and kindness. For instance, plan on cooking a dish the person likes or suggest a game he or she prefers.
2. SET AND ENFORCE BOUNDARIES. Second, set boundaries and enforce them to ensure peace. Make plans to diffuse tension with your husband or another person you trust. You might use a signal that communicates a need for transition.
For example, my grandmother lived with my mother for years. Before we visited, I warned my husband she would favor the boys. She would offer my sons gifts while informing my daughters she had nothing for them. My husband stepped in and refused all her gifts while guiding the children out of her room.
3. LOVE and PRAY. Third, Jesus said, “…love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” You might think this verse applies to an extreme situation, but I have discovered praying for someone softens my heart.
The Lord gives me insight into that individual’s personality and makes me see their emotional vulnerability. Instead of responding in frustration, I can temper my words with kindness and compassion.
4. BE QUICK TO HEAR AND SLOW TO SPEAK. “Let everyone be quick to hear and slow to speak.”(James 1:19).
People enjoy talking about themselves and may not notice your silence. You might discover hurts you weren’t aware of, or you could find a topic you both enjoy. On the other hand, avoid irritating topics.
5. DON’T LET EMOTIONS ZAP YOUR JUDGMENT. Fifth, don’t let your emotions zap your judgment. Paul the apostle said, “Be angry, and yet do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26).
Past hurts can flare up and make us want to say hurtful words. I have felt that way, and it’s hard not to explode. Ask the Lord to help you leave all those wrongs in his lap. That is such a relief.
Also, know that fatigue makes you more vulnerable, so [if possible] excuse yourself when you get tired.
With prayer, careful planning, and listening, you can still enjoy the holidays despite challenging relatives.
***
For more information, connect with Cynthia L. Simmons at clsimmons.com
Photo: Libby Penner, Unsplash
No Comments