How to Dump Insecurity and Find Rock-Solid Confidence

 

It is God who arms me with strength
and keeps my way secure.
2 Samuel 22:33

My friend Julie told me recently that she grew up as a very insecure child, not the adventurous type at all. She had some hard things happen to her as a kid—like verbal abuse and the death of a parent.

Yet here she was dangling from a harness over the edge of a cliff, rappelling in the early hours of a warm July day in Colorado.

Halfway down the mountain, she paused. Her big brown eyes scanned the scenic beauty around her—a cloudless blue sky and morning sunshine glistening on Mount Princeton. She pondered the journey she’d be on for the past few years that led her to this moment.

“Who is this person I’ve become?” she asked herself.

Confident. Courageous. Strong.

Indeed, a newfound confidence began surface in Julie’s life when she discovered God’s truths in Romans 8. The Message Bible reads this way,

Those who think they can do it on their own
end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle
but never get around to exercising it in real life.
Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—
living and breathing God! (Romans 8:5, 6)

Distorted images
Lack of confidence and its opposite, pride, comprise both ends of the spectrum.

Is there a balance somewhere in between for a healthy self-image and a confident spirit? Consider this excerpt from my book, When Love Ends about a true sense of self-esteem:

Perhaps you’ve seen a woman who thinks she is “all that.” Her smugness and conceit is contrasted with the person who has low self-esteem: she thinks she is “none of that.”

She focuses more on her mistakes instead of what she does right. She is often sad or fearful, and her insecurity prevents her from speaking up, taking chances, or moving forward.

A woman with a healthy self-esteem respects herself. She feels secure and worthwhile because of what God says about her. She has confidence in relationships and in life and generally more joy. She knows she has significance; she matters.

With her sense of worth and value intact, she sits up straight and walks tall. Head up, this confident woman is friendly, gentle and kind. She makes eye contact when she speaks, and she doesn’t constantly apologize for everything she says or does.

Living your true identity

We all have reasons for feeling insecure. But we don’t have to stay there; we have choices.

Instead of living in insecurity, we can choose to live “in security.” That means we are secure in our identity because we know Whose we are.

As you uncover the truth about what God says about you, that confirms who you really are. What does God say about your true identity? Here are just a few things YOU ARE:

Accepted by God – Romans 15:7
Loved dearly – Colossians 3:12
Chosen – Ephesians 1:11
Blessed – Matthew 5:2-12
Friend – John 15:15
Bride of Christ – Revelation 19:7
Child of God – John 1:12
His workmanship – Ephesians 2:10
Citizen of heaven – Philippians 3:20
Light of the world – Matthew 5:14
His co-worker – 2 Corinthians 6:1
Victorious – 1 Corinthians 15:57

Self-confidence or God confidence?
Instead of relying on what others say or finding confidence in yourself, you can build “God-confidence” by remembering that He can do what you cannot.

In other words, focus on what He can do through you, not your own limited resources.

When we feel ill-equipped or inadequate, that’s the time to totally rely on God and what He does through us. You can be secure when you know the One in whom we can put our confidence.

“It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure” (2 Samuel 22:33).

Immerse yourself in God’s truth and love, and you will find insecurity fading and confidence building.

When we see with the eyes of Christ, we see who we really are.

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