Questioning your worth and value because your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is treating you poorly?
Cody (not his real name) and I had one of those unhealthy relationships, although I didn’t know it at the time.
One evening we went to dinner with his friends, whom I’d just met that evening. We sat outdoors under a clear southwestern sky on a patio with white lights.
During the course of the evening, he completely ignored me. Not one word. And, we had been dating for well over a year, so I was surprised at his actions.
Near the end of the meal I went to the ladies room and looked in the mirror. My hair and makeup looked great, and I had on a nice outfit. I thought: What is wrong with me? What doesn’t he pay any attention to me?
At the time, I was telling myself that a man’s care for me was based on my appearance, and that what he thought or said mattered most.
I was wrong.
I learned that instead of valuing what another person thought about me, I should have been looking to the truth about what God says about me—that I was lovable and worthy of being treated with kindness, respect and consistent care.
What I came to learn later on was that Cody was a “yo-yo guy.” He was constantly up and down and he didn’t treat me well. He was back and forth, nice and then suddenly unkind. It was crazy-making.
I also learned that my self-worth was not based on what any man thinks of me. And that I had worth and value as a person whether Mr. Self-Absorbed affirmed it or not.
Bottom line: your value as a person is not based on what one man thinks about you.
This anonymous post says it well:
Women are like apples on trees. The best are at the top of the tree.
But most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take
the apples from the ground; they aren’t as good, but they’re easy. The apples at the top think something’s wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
As you allow God to shift your self-esteem from how you see yourself to seeing your worth and value through God’s eyes (that you are worthy of being loved well and treated well) a realignment takes place.
God empowers you to see differently, you begin to act differently.
You change your perception, and you change your life.
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