When You’ve Been Hurt: Forgive and Be Set Free!

If you’ve ever had your home or car broken into, you know how violating it can feel. It’s happened to me twice.

Break-ins to your vehicle are one thing; break-ins to your inner life can be devastating.

Perhaps you’ve known the sting of rejection from a boyfriend or girlfriend, or the betrayal of a close friend. Maybe you’ve been wounded with the unkind words of another. Or someone has defamed your character.

We see this played out in the news nearly every day. Especially around election time with mudslinging, dirty politics—and fake news.

When you or someone you care about is mistreated, what do you do?

Hold a grudge? Let bitterness and resentment build up? Or, choose to forgive—and walk in freedom and peace?

Justice is served

One of the biggest reasons people don’t want to forgive someone who’s hurt them is because they mistakenly believe that the person will get away with it (whatever they’ve done).

You think the other person should “pay” for what they’ve done—and do so at your hands. But when you forgive, you release him from your hands and give the situation to God to handle; He will ensure justice is served.

Read what Romans 12:19 says in The Message Bible:

“Don’t insist on getting even;

that’s not for you to do.

‘I’ll do the judging,’ says God. ‘I’ll take care of it’”

God’s heart breaks when someone is mistreated. He sees your pain, and He cares about your trials. Thankfully, God is a God of Justice. He will make all things right.

Release and be set free!

Forgiving someone who has wronged you is for you. Whether or not he says he’s sorry, whether or not she asks for forgiveness, forgive in your heart—ask God to help you release what you are holding on to.

Forgiveness sets your heart free.

Of course, it is not a one-time process. In fact, you may need to have multiple conversations with God about your situation. Forgiving is a journey. One step at a time.

But the path becomes clearer as we come to understand why we need to do something that seems so difficult: God has first forgiven us, and He asks us to forgive other. Jesus said,

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” —Matthew 6:14, 15

You may still feel resistance. I’m not forgiving him; he doesn’t deserve it.  Your feelings may be valid, but the truth is none of us deserve it; that’s what grace is about. Mercy and grace are gifts, extended to you by Jesus Christ.

Because of His amazing love, Christ can empower you to do the unthinkable in the eyes of the world: forgive someone who has wronged you.

Forgiveness releases the pain and frees you. No longer a victim, you are a victorious person who overcomes!

Remember, too, that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to reconcile or hang out with people who have hurt you. Sometimes the wisest and healthiest thing to do is be away from them and have boundaries to protect your heart from further pain.

A fresh wind is blowing. It’s the freedom you feel when you’ve forgiven those who have mistreated you.

Will you choose to harbor bitterness and resentment, or come into the light of hope—forgiving others because you have been forgiven first by God?

Freedom and lasting peace are possible. The choice is yours.

PRAYER

Lord, sometimes it is hard to wrap my head around the concept of forgiveness. It seems impossible in my human strength. But Your Word says that with You everything is possible. Even this. You have forgiven me, help me extend that same mercy to the person who has wronged me. Help me to forgive—and live free and at peace again. In Jesus’ name. Amen.