No one likes to feel stupid. Or small. Or less than.
We’ve all had days when we just want to crawl under our desk—or under the covers—and hide.
Perhaps you can relate.
Have you ever bumped into a handsome guy at a coffee house—the one you’ve been eyeing for weeks—on your worst hair day? Or, lost a big game because you dropped the ball? Or endured years of harsh or unkind words from a family member or a bully in your life?
Ouch.
Embarrassing moments
Words really can hurt, and we’ve all had embarrassing situations in life. At times like that, your self-esteem can seem to plummet faster than the gigantic Niagara Falls (which, I’ve learned, fall at about 202,000 cubic feet per second).
Sadly, when your self-esteem nosedives, you lose the sense of your original design—of who you truly are. Somehow, you forget all the amazing things God, the Creator created you to be.
Like a slab of wood in the rain, your self-esteem gets warped when you feel like you are not
pretty enough,
smart enough,
strong enough,
wealthy enough—or simply not enough at all.
I hear you.
I’ve had seasons in life when I’ve wondered what planet my self-esteem wandered off to because it seemed so far away. I’ve endured harsh and unwarranted criticism from others. I’ve known times of unexpected unemployment and I’ve felt the sting of rejection in dating relationships.
Thankfully, I’ve learned some vital lessons in recovering my faltering self-esteem.
You have choices
I discovered that I have choices; I can either stay stuck in my disappointment or I can choose to believe that how I view myself really can change for the better.
Let me give you some good news:
When you begin to see yourself as God sees you,
and learn the truth about who you really are,
then you will begin to live a life that is
more confident, fruitful and joyful.
How do you do that?
It begins by knowing and believing God’s truth, and what He has to say about you. In doing so, you realign your thoughts about your true worth and value. The truth about who you really are comes from the source of truth and love Himself: God Almighty.
Maybe it’s time to come back, or discover for the first time, who you are in the eyes of our loving and compassionate God—your true identity.
Reset Your Thought Life
Here are a few things to think about as you reset your thought life:
1. What are you saying to yourself? Self talk matters. Is the running monologue in your head mostly negative or positive?
Remember, there’s “what happened” and “how you deal with what happened.” You may have had a horrible childhood. Others may have treated you poorly. Or, you may have made unwise choices. But how you respond to hard things in life makes all the difference. You can find victory as you renew your mind (Romans 12:2) and get rid of negative, false and damaging thoughts.
2. Is it true? Don’t mistakenly believe that other people or popular culture hold the measuring rod for your value as a person. Challenge what you hear and hold it up to the light of Scripture. Grab your Bible and discover all of the life-affirming things God has to say.
The truth is, you:
- Have value because God made you. You were God’s idea!
- Are worthy simply because you ARE.
- You were created for good purposes.
- God loves you more than you know.
No matter where you come from or what you’ve done—or what has been done to you—Christ offers startling grace and complete forgiveness to all. That kind of love is mind-blowing, and it’s available to you.
We live in a culture that values the outside of a person when God values the inner qualities that are a true treasure of infinite and eternal value.
First Samuel 16:7 says, “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’”(1 Samuel 16:7, NIV).
3. How can things be different? As you start to notice what you’re saying to yourself, and look to God’s truth, not the distorted messages you’ve heard in the past (e.g., “You don’t deserve to be happy” or “You’ll never amount to anything” and the like), your thought life will begin to be transformed in positive ways. And when your thoughts change, your actions change. And life gets better.
Indeed, it is true. And worth repeating: When you begin to see yourself as God sees you, and learn the truth about who you really are, then you will begin to live a life that is more confident, fruitful and joyful.
Helpful Resources by Jackie M. Johnson
When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty
(Help and Hope for Getting Over a Relationship Breakup or Loss)
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